its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
