Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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