My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
