Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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