the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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