He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
