You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
