I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think your dad took our porno
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
