I'm jealous of your bromance
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
