Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
