Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
how does that bad decision feel?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
