Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
high people should be assigned attendants
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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