things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
