hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
