i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
3pm strippers are depressing
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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