IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
