I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
