You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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