dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
