I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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