Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
