If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
there is glitter all over my balls
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