You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
