my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
