Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
