You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
