I need help removing her.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
