I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
