If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
