My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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