How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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