I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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