shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
