No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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