if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sorry about my life...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
