we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
