just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
