"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
