gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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