i was born a porn star she said
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ttyl tear gas
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
