Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
