I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
