dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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