Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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