Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
