bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
