Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
