Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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