You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
