drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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