Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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